Communication is so fundamental to the human experience that it’s difficult to write about. Communication is a medium that is constructive at its best, and destructive at its worst. Communication builds bonds, builds knowledge on vital subjects, and builds consensus on vital matters. However, communication can also sever ties through destructive words and it can be used as a divisive tool that prevents us from building the bridges necessary to secure a world more befitting to our evolving capacity to pass down better ways of being to the next generations.
From a structural perspective, communication is the means of translating random interactions into sustained relationships. How many enduring relationships can we trace to things as random as a party conversation, an online interaction, or a trip to the store? The spark of an interaction requires fuel to turn it into a fire that delights our eyes and keeps us warm, and this fuel is communication.
Communication does work; and one of its primary jobs is building understanding. Building understanding requires consideration of both who is in the room and the exact status of every soul in the room. In places where asymmetric power relations live, we can expect that either the number of people in the room will be limited or that the social divisions existing in the surrounding society will be allowed into the room and given space to do their work. Most often, this work involves expanding the stage and increasing the amplification of some voices and shrinking the stage and lowering the volume for other voices. Voices from people equal in their humanity, but different in the look of their bodies.
It would be silly to expect an unevenly structured room to produce truth claims that are seen as unbiased to everyone in the room, or those outside of the room. The expectation of having your truth claims accepted (the ends) despite the process involved (the means) in making your truth claims is a social phenomenon that keeps repeating. A corrective measure is ensuring that there is symmetry in the room, both in terms of the number of souls that can be practically included in the room and in terms of equality of status.
If finding the truth of the matter is the goal, we must maximize every opportunity to increase the radiance in the room. This means creating an environment where everyone feels welcomed, included, and viewed as a light-giver. If forging consensus is the goal, we must ensure that the ethic of mutuality coincides with ethical standards that help individuals detach from egotism and adhere to a commitment to abide by most compelling argument principles. If moving from a misunderstanding to a mutual understanding is the goal, respecting someone enough to listen to them intently and openly is a requirement.
But what does any of this have to do with love? Love elevates communication from something that is mundane to something that is purposeful. Love for our common humanity and the corollary drive to live out our full potential gives life and direction to communication. This translates to constructive discourse on matters such as the satisfaction of basic human needs and the promise it shrines. It means giving ample space for deliberate consultation on advancing ourselves socially, scientifically, economically, and morally. This elevated understanding of the inherent potential of communication points us toward treating it as a catalyst for world building. A catalyst for a connected, pro-social world where interdependence is seen as a given and where integrating across historical divides and raising the capacity of each and all are seen as worthy goals to be pursued. This understanding of communication, combined with the practices that align with it, helps to stir us away from using it as a divisive tool. Again, more light in room-after-room and space-after-space is the perfect remedy to the darkness of social prejudices, human hatred, and outworn social boundaries.
Communications infused with love and aimed towards love build and sustain relationships and set the foundation for consultative processes focused on truth-seeking and consensus building. Communication is at its absolute best when the rigor of fact-finding, communicating with clarity, and engaging in rational discourse—interweaves with seeking healing solutions. Focused, loving, inclusive, and purposeful communications will be a balm for our collective wounds. They will help achieve reconciliation between rivaling groups. They will be an essential ingredient for establishing the conditions for lasting peace.